Every week (or whenever I get to the shit) I like to feature some of the Good, the Bad and the Ugly messages I get online dating. One thing online dating isn’t is boring. Peep the bullshit from this week below.
1. Hang Out and Do What, Sir?
We all know what hang means. Not only is that not a date, but what kind of fool would I be to go to some random man’s home to “hang” after exchanging 4 messages? I know we are in the era of instant gratification, but we hadn’t even really got past the common pleasantries of “How was your day?”. Now that I’m thinking about it, I’m honestly offended as fuck. Now I need to go back and evaluate my profile to see if I look like an easy lay. I don’t at least deserve to be lied to?
2. I Learned Patience Is No Longer A Virture
He didn’t even wait a full 15 minutes for a response. I don’t know about other ladies online but I have a full-time job and at 2PM on a weekday, a bih is working. I think I dodged a bullet here.
3. This Catfish Has Been Fried
He’s kidding right?
5. All Pisces Are Not Created Equal
You know the crazy vibes are off the chart when you reply FOR me in your messages. I took a hard pass here.
6. He Knows Damn Well He Cheating
No face pictures? Check
Dusty shoe pic? Check
Random wad of cash? Check
No personal information? Check.
We have a cheater for 500 Alex.