Sacre Bleu! Frenchmen Aint Shit, Too

The First Date that never was.

Remember this guy?

I was excited a couple of weeks ago to encounter such a rare specimen of a man. I was right to be skeptical of perfect answers. This guy gave me a few red flags, but I ignored them to give him the benefit of the doubt…and because I needed content for this blog, ha! I’m actually glad I decided not to go through on the date because in hindsight I’m 85% sure I avoided being sex trafficked.

Red Flag #1 – The No Texter

He claimed from day 1 that he is not a texter, he preferred to talk on the phone. Now, I am not gung ho on texting but the immediate need to warn me of this fact gave me pause. What 29-year-old man doesn’t text at least a little?

He preferred to call me. We had alright conversations, but I had a niggle of a feeling we wouldn’t get along because he had a militant black and white viewpoint of the world, viewed love logically and left no leeway for partners to mistakes. We’ve already discussed my personal issues in a previous entry, but this guy took my ideologies of steadfastness and quadrupled it.

Red Flag #2 – The Multiple Lies

Now I am an FBI type of bitch. I peep shit and make note of it, but I may not necessarily call you out on it. This guy’s given information wasn’t adding up for me almost immediately. The first time we talked he talked about doing “10 years of traveling after high school and college” before finally settling in Kansas City. Now his profile on Tinder said he was 29, as I mentally registered those maths weren’t computing, I had to butt in for clarification.

“How old are you?”

“Why? Does it matter”

“Because I asked. And yes it does. Your profile says you are 29, so you graduated from school at 14?”

“It does? I don’t know why. I’m in my mid 30’s”

“Be specific.”

“I’m 36.”

Here’s why I’m in disbelief: your goddamn age is in full view while you are creating your profile. You can’t be 7 years off your actual age and just NOT notice as you are filling in your profile. This lie slipped out easily, but still…I entertained him. We ended up ending the call and he said he would contact me when he returned from France from visiting family in 10 days.

That was lie #2

I logged in a few days later and checked out his profile again to see if he was still cute enough for me to be bothered and I noticed his location said: “6 miles away”. Hmm. I didn’t realize Paris was actually within the inner city limits of Kansas City. I find it doubtful that he left his cell phone in the city while he traveled across the world. At this point, I’m starting to wonder if this nigga knew how to spell “truth”.

But nevertheless he called the next week to ask for a date and I was hungry soooooo……

The Date That Never Was

I agreed to meet him at 54th Street in North Kansas City at 8 pm. It was closer to his home, as he lived in the Zona Rosa area. Or at least that’s what he told me. I live in the southern part of the city so it was a bit of a drive on my part. Still, I made it there by 8:10 pm. I expected him to be there since he had set the time and location.

At 8:15 I texted him to let him know I had been there 5 minutes. Still no answer on his phone by 8:20 and my irritation level had begun to creep up. He finally texted me at 8:25 to let me know he was 10 minutes away. Putting him at 35 minutes late. But ok, at least I have a time now right? I went into the restaurant to wait and put my name on the list for a table.

8:45 I realized that this was a waste of my time when I had other options. I let him know I was taking my ass home.

Red Flag #3 – The Documentation

After my leaving, he conveniently “arrived” to the restaurant and called me to see if I would come back. I politely refused over the phone and went to to pick up a platter of barbecue and go text favorite bae #1 in bed while watching The Magicians (an infinitely better night than a dinner conversation at 54th Street Grill)

This is when I received this text. Is his wording weird to anyone else? This reads like an email I would send a client at work to cover my ass to ensure I followed policy on an escalated situation.

Who else was reading this? Why did he have to reiterate anything he had said to me after I had given a strong no to any other interaction?

The first thought that comes to mind is that I avoided being sex trafficked and saved him from the ass whooping he would have experienced from these hands if he had tried shit.