Let me preface this with a disclaimer, ladies, please do not grade your level of beauty off of the opinions of ANYONE other than yourself.
I do want to spread a little body positivity in this lil ol’ blog of mine. Growing up, I was never picked on about my weight but it was ingrained in me that I was undesirable. I don’t know if this thought process was a result of some subconscious programming because fat girls in movies are the goofy friend and not the potential lover, but I did kind of take it as a standard that men preferred thinner women. Lowkey, between you and me, I’m a little conceited and I never truly understood the perceived desire for smaller bodies… because I was my own type. I was like, who wouldn’t want this luscious bitch here? But for the longest, I did not date or even approach men I liked because I assumed I wasn’t his type. Fuck that, I wasn’t about to embarrass myself.
When did this change?
Honestly, when I was 22. Yes, it took me 22 years to realize I was cute as shit to other people. Once I hit the real world with these grown men looking for a lil cushion for the pushin, my eyes opened. Listen, all of a sudden my hot toddy ass found crop tops, wigs and sex swings and it was over. Sex with the lights off?? No sir, open your eyes, this belly needs a rubbin’.
That’s why it bothers me when I read about bigger women sad about being single and assuming that it is a result of their looks. If there is one I know, is that somebody out there wants your ass. Most likely, your insecurities and that subconscious “fat girl attitude” is putting up a barrier. You know the attitude I’m talking about. When some handsome man approaches you and you assume that it’s someone playing a joke. So you put on a bitch face as a precautionary measure of protection from hurt feelings. You can’t believe this cute motherfucker is trying to feed and finesse you. Yes girl, HE IS.
This is perfectly illustrated in the Netflix movie “Dumplin'”, Willowdean was out here fucking it up and still couldn’t get past her own mind that that lil daddy wanted all them rolls.
Because of this, I have seen a pattern of big women “take what they can get” by seeking out partners that match them aesthetically or treat them like dog shit. Or even worse, the arguably abusive “feeders” who are physically aroused by making a fat bitch, fatter. These men value a fetish and not the woman, by forcing unhealthy habits in order to selfishly feed a desire. Stop seeking out what you think you can catch in a pond when you are a whole damn cruise ship that’s itching to see the ocean. I can not emphasize this enough, a fat body is not undeserving. I can tell you that fat bodies are desirable. Not to everyone, of course, but to a huge percentage of men and women that give no fucks about size. Probably a few more, to be honest (I’m looking at you Closet Chubby Chasers). Come to terms with your desirableness so that you aren’t stuck in a cycle of taking what you can get, and instead, find what you deserve.
I can almost guarantee that extra fat is not the reason you are single, now as for your internalized emotional trauma and mental damage from past experiences….that’s another blog, sis.
